i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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