I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
