Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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