Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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