can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
