I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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