sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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