Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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