Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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