What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
