On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
