so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
