just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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