return my video game
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
do herpes really smell.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
