The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
