She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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