all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she smelled like a LAN party
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
