you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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