so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
