OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
