How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
