did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
