She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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