the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
