Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
