was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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