You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
