I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
