Three words: puerto rican gang bang
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
