dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
