Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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