I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
