Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
