why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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