Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
