Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize