Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
