yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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