I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
