How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
