Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
