9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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