It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're like the curious george of whores
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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