but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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