I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
