I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize