kristin has been a bad kristin
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
did you just send me my own nude
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
