We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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