she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
