Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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