How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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