i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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