it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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