did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
