it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
