Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
