Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
