White coat. Heels.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
