would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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