A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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