The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
