i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
