Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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