You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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