If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize