His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
