i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
