Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
